#StruggleLove...Yayyy or Nayyy?
So many of us during our lifetime have fallen into struggle love OR know someone who has. It happens to the best of us, and even more tragically, some of us NEVER seem to find a way out.
If you are one of the unicorns that have NO idea what I am talking about, here are two quick definitions (as defined by yours truly).
Struggle love [Struhg-uhl Luhv]
1. The act of supporting a partner financially when the partner does not have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of (I.E. A partner that's broke as hell).
There is nothing that grinds my gears more than those memes that essentially say “You’re a gold digger if you expect a man to have more than $2” OR “You’re not a keeper unless you’re willfully dating a man with $2”. Listen, I’m all for looking at potential and meeting people where they are, HOWEVER, I don't believe YOU should have to suffer financially or be expected to support another person. If this person is working on their goals and they may not be financially stable BUT (BIG ASS BUT) they support and love you, and they do not EXPECT anything but your love and support in return, then cool. If they're 38 years old, still pursuing their raps dreams, and expect to borrow your car and NOT refill it with gas….don’t even think about it. OK?
Mary J. Repeatedly told you that you “could do Bad all by yourself” and she ain't never ever lied!!
2. Someone that makes it consistently hard to love them or makes you feel like you are too hard to love, but for some reason you two just keep on trying and keep on hurting each other.
Similarly, you don’t want to be stuck in a relationship that's mutually draining because you feel that you’ve invested too much time OR you're afraid of starting over. The only thing that this will lead to is years of resentment and a possible divorce (if you both even make it to the altar). Love should be effortless. Yes, every relationship requires hard work and a little compromise, but love shouldn’t be a project where your happiness depends on your partner molding into the person of your dreams. This isn’t HGTV. Find yourself a lover and not a fixer-upper. If they don’t make you feel good “AS-IS”… then in the words of a sanging/lip quivering/ shoe-less Fantasia "GO AHEAD AND FREE YOURSELF!"
These types of relationships are TOXIC and it’s okay to throw in the towel, sis... but if you must stay, we commend you for fighting for your relationship and turning those struggling ass lemons into sugar-free lemonade...